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I came up with this check in commands.cfg (note that there are separate checks for HTTP and HTTPS):

 

Code Block
themeMidnight
languageperl
define command{
        command_name    check_unparsed_php_http
        command_line    /usr/lib/nagios/plugins/check_http -I $HOSTADDRESS$ -H $ARG1$ -u $ARG2$ --invert-regex -r '^\s*<\?(php)?\s+'
}
define command{
        command_name    check_unparsed_php_https
        command_line    /usr/lib/nagios/plugins/check_http -I $HOSTADDRESS$ --ssl -H $ARG1$ -u $ARG2$ --invert-regex -r '^\s*<\?(php)?\s+' 
}

 

Then use this check for pages on your web server that you know should parse PHP. The arguments are the vhost name, and the URL:

Code Block
themeMidnight
languageperl
define service
        use                             generic-service         ; Name of service template to use
        host_name                       cajones
        service_description             PHP parsing on www.tienhuis.nl
        is_volatile                     0
        normal_check_interval           30
        retry_check_interval            1
        contact_groups                  server-admins
        notification_interval           60
        notification_period             24x7
        notification_options            w,u,c,r
        check_command                   check_unparsed_php_http!www.tienhuis.nl!/~visser.p.php
        }

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